If I was to have just one more day, I'd make sure that I spent it without you.

'Sup guys!

How're you all doing?

I very loosely try to do a blog a month, so sorry this one is a bit early but who's to stop inspiration?

This is a post for everyone really.

We've all been in this situation, I guarantee it.

I'm going to apologise in advance, this'll be the first of my blogs with some swearing in it.

The part of the brain that recognises embarrassment is called the pregenual anterior cingulate cortex. Yeah. I switched off after the P in pregenual too. Anyway. I'm going to get straight to what I'm trying to say.

Do whatever the fuck it is that you want to do.

Don't ever let people tell you that what you want to do is wrong or that you can't do it. Want to wear a foam banana suit for halloween? Do it. It feels great. I would know.

Society has brainwashed so many people that they subconsciously think what's 'right and wrong'. Correction. Apart from with proven factual things, right and wrong is a subjective and is different to every person.

You're never going to please everyone so just please yourself.

Seriously guys, don't ever think that you can't do what you want to do. Every person that says you can't achieve what you really want to do should spur you on; there's nothing better than seeing their faces when you prove them wrong.

I wrote something on my hand the other day, which I only realised after I wrote in permanent ink, but it's slowly coming off now. This is what I live by now...

'I will live fast and die young, but I hope the change I make will live forever.'

Break hearts, Break Bones, Break Promises, do whatever the hell it is you want as long as when you leave this world you don't have any regrets.

Destiny is chosen, not given.

Loves!

I walk along these no name streets; Wave goodbye to home.

Hey guys!

It's little under a month since I last blogged, so I'm back with another!

It's not another political one, but it's still another blog with a big meaning - Enjoy! x

How many of you have had a falling dream?

Everyone? Thought So.

I don't know if you believe in the whole thing about your dreams have a meaning malarkey, I'm not completely sold myself, but they say a falling dream means that you're over-whelmed of the things that are happening around you and that involve you, and that you have nothing to hold on to. Quite a big, scary meaning for a vision that enters your sub-conscious mind.

I had a falling dream a few days ago. I was climbing up the side of a building with a rope, I got meters from the top then the rope snapped, I fell and fell and fell, until seconds before hitting the hard ground and inevitably reaching my hypothetical demise, I managed to throw the rope back up, hook it and stop myself from dying. Completely un-plausible I know, but I think we've all had dreams which make less sense than that. I'm not one to believe all this supernatural gypsy stuff, but I don't know, this one was kinda different. Knowing that a falling dream meant you had nothing to hold onto, made me wonder that surely because I managed to hold on at the end, I have something to hold on to?

For the first couple of days after the dream, I thought it was a load of crap. I wasn't overwhelmed, I was fine.

But as ever, it takes someone, or something to point out your flaws and mistakes before you can really notice them.

What I'm trying to say is, taking the shopping out of the car and inside the house is the perfect metaphor for life. If you take too many bags, it's too heavy and you have to put some down, or try and run to the front door while juggling the precious bottles and fragile products inside the bag, which is more than likely to end in either you getting hurt, or the things in the bag getting ruined; worse case scenario the bag splits and you lose all of it. If you don't take enough, you leave things for other people to take for you and aren't much of a help. Life's about finding the perfect balance. If you find you're carrying too much, put one of the bags down and come back for it.

Everyone needs a break.

I'm currently going through one of those stages of looking at what I really want, and what I don't. Kind of assessing what I want to carry on, and what I don't.

I know people who suffer from depression and have run away and so on from stress, please, It can get better, it will get better, just take a break!

I know this may not seem as serious as my other blogs, but it really has a big meaning to me :) <3

Loves!
Connor
x

6 and a Half Billion Shoulders...

Hey There Bloggers!

I hope you're all enjoying the sunshine, or for my readers across the border I hope the weather is doing good there too!

It wouldn't surprise me if you've figured out what I mean by the title of this blog, but if not here it is.

Quite often people talk about 'carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders', well surely, just like any other thing, no matter how light or heavy, it's less weight on your shoulders the more people that carry the object?

Everyone has an opinion; you don't have to be a genius to know that. However, many people have said things like 'I agree with what you're saying, that this world is in tatters and something needs to be done; but the government will never listen, I just try and ignore it'.

I don't think people understand the power of expression any more.

Don't you find it annoying when someone is annoyed at you, but you don't know what for? Don't you hate it when you've really pee'd someone off but you didn't even know about it?

You, right now, reading this blog; you have a voice, use it!

Don't keep your idea's and views inside - there's bound to be somewhere that feels the same way as you do!

I'm going to once again refer to one of the true icons of the Twentieth Century: Martin Luther King. Discrimination of blacks had been taking place for years. Segregation of extreme measures was imminent in the United States. Imagine that every single day, you're told you're not worth what everyone else is worth. You're not human like the other people are. You don't have rights like the other people do; wouldn't you say something? I think I can answer for you. Many people I know, would like to say they would say something, but the truth is they wouldn't. Martin Luther King one day snapped, he'd had enough, he stood up for what he believed in. I'm sure when arguing with a white man about a bus seat all those years ago, the thought of being a icon world wide and leading a revolution wasn't one running through his head. 'First a spark, then a flame, then a fire'. His appeal to reason quickly grew a following - what started out as one mans fight became perhaps the biggest revolution of the century.

One man changed the world, why can't you?

I know that sounds ambitious, but isn't it ambition which makes great things great? Do you really think Thomas Edison went about inventing the light bulb expecting it to be easy? Do you really think the Americans attempted flying to the moon thinking it would be easy?

Nothing that's worth having comes easy.

For those of you that are still reading and haven't clicked off because you think I'm an absolute nut case, Make sure you carry on reading. Even if you aren't completely sold to the idea of revolution, there is an inconvenient truth to come.

I know many people don't like to think ahead, but just consider this for a second...

One Day, our generation will be in control. You, your neighbour, your class mates, your school mates; all these people at some point will decide the steps this world will take. These people won't just write history, they will be a part of it. Who's to say the next leader of our nation isn't sitting next to you in English? Who's to say that the person who invents the a efficient way of using renewable isn't the guy sitting in front of you in science? At the end of the day, weather you like it or not, the worlds weight will be cast our generations shoulders.

So now I refer once again to the title; Would you rather carry the weight of the world on your own, or get Six and a half Billion people help carry it with you?

Loves!

Connor
x

My New Thing :)

Hey Guys :)

I thought I'd try a new thing, where people Inbox me a problem they have, or something that's upsetting them or on their mind, and I'll include a few of the problems in this blog. I'll offer my views on things and try and help in anyway I can, so here goes!

1.
'I kinda feel like my boyfriend doesn't care about me, he flirts with other girls, doesn't phone me, doesn't text me, nothing, but when I'm with him he's lovely, and when I phone him he talks to me, and he tells me he loves me, I've tried talking to him about it but he just gets angry with me, how do I make him understand that I don't feel like he cares about me and I'm not just being obsessive?'

I'm going to be honest and say I kinda' know how you feel. It's important that you know straight away that you aren't being obsessive. A relationship is a two way thing, and If he's not putting the same effort in as you are then he should expect to be confronted with some questions. It is quite usual to not feel as close to someone when you're not with them, if you know what I mean, but this seems to be quite peculiar. Perhaps there is quite a lot going on with him right now that he's often quite busy most of the time hence the reason why he doesn't phone you or text you, but the time he does get to spend with you does mean a lot to him and that's why things are so amazing, or maybe you just aren't on the same page in this relationship.

My Advice: No matter how much you think you're annoying him, talk to him about it. The key to a working relationship is communication as I'm sure you know. If he says he's fine and there is nothing going on, ask him if this relationship means as much to him as it does to you. It's important to know that a relationship is at the same level of commitment for both people.

2.
'My Nan Which upsets me the most, she has Alzheimer's Disease, and she's slowly forgetting everything, gets confused easily and also very stressed. It's really difficult and extremely upsetting :/'

Disease and Health in family members is never easy. The important thing you should know is that with things like this, you're not alone. Everyone goes through it in their lifetime, so you can almost chat to anyone about it, including me. I know that no matter how much someone tells you 'It's part of getting old' or whatever makes a difference, just because it's normal doesn't make it any less painful. The best thing you can do is try and act yourself around them even if it is killing you inside. The worst thing you can do with things like disease, as I'm sure you know, is treat them like they are different. Just try and enjoy her company as much as possible and don't let it get on top of you. She's still your Nan and always will be, she still means as much to you now as she ever did, let her know that.

My Advice: Try and stay positive. Just speak to her and enjoy her company like you did before she got the disease and things will be much easier.

3.
'So basicals, I think I like someone. They say they like me back but I doubt that it'll happen because of some circumstances. What should I do?'

Crushes always suck, fact. In these sort of 'Pre-relationship' circumstances it's important keep up to date on whether the other person is still 'interested'. As a teenager hormones take control and it's not unusual for feelings toward someone to change on a daily basis. As for these 'circumstances', if you like each other enough then I'm sure that these 'Circumstances' are somewhat insignificant. If you get on amazingly and you are always talking and have a lot in common and you could really see a relationship between you getting somewhere, then go for it. As with most relationships, the likely hood is that it's not for forever, but there is someone for everyone. Take a risk. That's what livings for, isn't it? Do whatever makes you happy.

My Advice: Go for it. If you both like each other and you're a strong couple, then I'm sure there are no 'Circumstances' you can't overcome. Every road in life has it's obstacles, you're the only person that can choose the road you take.

4.
'Whenever I need someone to tell me I'm not an absolute fail, they always let me down. Friends are so shit sometimes, you have the really good ones that you don't get to see that often, then the ones that you spend everyday with are complete let downs. Always chatting about their problems and managing to bounce whenever it's time to hear mine; you just wonder why the fuck you bother.'

Oh haven't we all been there? It's important you realise that pretty much everyone goes through this at some point. Self-esteem is a bitch, isn't it? We've all gone through a state of self doubt, well let me tell you right now, you're not a 'Absolute Fail'. No one is. No matter how much you may feel like giving up, or that you're useless, you're not. Everyone has a purpose. I know you on a personal level and I cannot begin to tell you how much of a legend you are. Sometimes you can't see what it is, but you do have a worth. The 'friends' that don't help you with your problems and give you their full attention when you need someone to talk to aren't friends. 'Nuff Said. Forget about the ones you see every day at school, if they are annoying you and you don't get along just don't talk to them, get your head down and study hard. That's what I did for half a year, not only did I realise who my true friends are, but I got a feeling of 'I'm not a fail, I'm doing really well!' when I saw that all the work I'd been doing in class without disruption of others had made my grades improve massively. The true friends you may rarely see are always worth the wait. Keep that smile on your face, because it makes me happy :)

My Advice: Put the friends that aren't real friends aside, put your work first for a bit and then you will also see who can't live without you and who are your real friends.

I hope I helped guys :) I just told you what I thought :D

Love you!

Until next time
Farewell, or, as everyone in shops in Wales says 'Ta taa now!'

:')

Cheers!

Connor x

Why not open your eyes? It might help you open your mind...

Hey Guys :)

I'm aware I haven't blogged in a while, but this one should be quite a good one...

This isn't going to be one of my normal blogs where I talk about my life happenings, this is going to be a blog with one big meaning.

I'm going to start with a question, and end with the same one...

When you're done, when you're dying, wouldn't you like to know you've made a difference?

This is something that has really hit home for me in the last week or so. It all started on the 25th of January 2011...

Rise Against released their first single from their brand new album, Endgame. The song is called Help Is On The Way, and it's about Hurricane Katrina/BP deep water oil spill. Straight away I knew Rise Against had gone a step further. A band that have always persisted in writing lyrics that seem to penetrate all feelings of 'Everythings Perfect', had just written a song that, little did I know, would change my life forever.

The next string was pulled on February 15th 2011...

Rise Against release their second single from their brand new album, Endgame. This new track is called Architects, and like Help Is On The Way, it hits home hard. I've never heard a song that gets so to the point. Architects is about this world being broken, and how Our generation needs to fix it. With lines such as...

'Do you care to be the layer of the bricks that seal your fate
or would you rather be the architect
of what we might create?'

These lines at the end of the chorus basically say, You can follow or you can change things. Tim McIlrath uses the word Architect as a way of describing someone such as Martin Luther King who has Designed the world we live in. Tim basically implies that there are none of these 'Architects' left in the world, no people to go against the grain to fight for a better way.

Later on the song breaks down to hear Tim McIlrath chanting the words:

'Don't you remember when you were young, and you wanted to set the world on fire?'

Which says that when you are young you want to change the world, you want things to be the way you think are right, but as you get older you tend to just accept the world for what it is and get on with it.

Now the fuse is lit on March 15th...

March 15th, Rise Against release their Endgame album. I skip the first two songs as they are the two singles that I have avidly listened to since their release. Then I hear the song which completely changes me forever. Make It Stop (Septembers Children). This song sings the stories of 5 homo-sexuals who killed themselves after being victims of discrimination in September 2010. The entire album had a huge impact on me, all with a very deep, real meaning, but this had the biggest effect.

Lets skip forward to Wednesday the 30th of March...

Tonight I am sitting on a cold wooden floor, with my loved Alexisonfire hoodie on and my iPod on with my headphones in my ears. The same noise is blaring out of my headphones into my ears as it has for the past 15 days. Tonight I decide I've had enough. Tonight I decide what my lifetime goal will be. Tonight, I decide that everything I will ever do from now on, I will do to make a difference. Although it's ambitious, and when you read this you'll probably click off straight away, my Mission, is to change the world.

I seem to be one of the only people I know that can open their eyes. I want to make everyone else open theirs too. I want you to open your eyes and minds to the possibility that what they are taught is wrong. What they're told is wrong. The fact there are two sides to every story. I am going to use probably a very controversial example now...

I'm pretty sure everyone of you who read this will consider our troops heroes. I'm almost certain all of you who read this will think that everyone our nation has ever opposed are the 'bad guys', well are they? To every other nation we have ever engaged in conflict in, I'm certain that the civilians have seen the people that fight for their country as heroes and our troops as the bad guys. Us and other nations aren't all that different. Everyone we have ever shot and killed has been fighting for what they believe in. People our troops have shot and killed have had Children and Families. People our troops have shot and killed have been people with their whole life ahead of them to go on and do something great. People our troops have shot and killed have had everything we have, so why are they worth less? How come shooting a man who your government has told you to shoot, that you have never met in your entire life, who you've never said a word to, who you have no motive toward killing, who has a family that will cry when they go home in a coffin with their nations flag on it makes you a hero, but if you shoot someone you do know, that you have said a word to, that has done something so horrific toward you you want to kill them, who also has a family just like the 'bad guy' makes you a criminal?

What's the difference? They're both murderers.

I think it's time that people started hearing it how it is, and that's what my band will start doing from now on. Telling it how it is.

I hope I haven't offended anyone, this is just how I feel.

So I'll ask again, when you're done, when you're dying, don't you want to know you've made a difference?

Cheers! x

This worlds an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me.

Hey guys :D

Everyone looking to find my usual semi-funny, blog, this isn't the case. This blog is all about one person, Courteney Elkins.

Where do I begin?

You're the most important person in the entire world to me, I know I tell you all the time and it doesn't mean that much anymore, but I tell you everyday because the though of you ever forgetting that you're everything to me is unbearable. You make me happy like no one else can, You make me laugh like no one else can, you make me smile like no one else can, you make me feel loved like no one else can. There isn't a second that passes when you aren't on my mind. I miss you so much. It's strange, knowing that I'm going to see you in just a few days isn't enough because there's already a hole in my heart from the small time we've spent apart. You're the one, and I've never been so certain of something in my entire life. I can try to think about my life without you, but it's useless because I'd be lost without you, I wouldn't be half the person I am.

You Complete Me.

The simplest way to say all of this is, Courteney Elkins, I am absolutely, unconditionally, indescribably, head-over-heels in love with you.

Prepare for the best and the fastest ride!

Haiii guyyshhh!

Howsh it goweeen?

Okay I'll stop being an idiot now :')

Seriously though guys, how are you all doing? You all know me, I'm a friendly guy, chat to me on facebook or whatever, tell me how you're doing and tell me what you're looking forward to doing this summer!

Anyway, it's been just over a month since I did my last blog, So I'll give you an update of whats Happened:

- My bands first gig was absolutely amazing, by far the best thing I've ever done

- Me and Courteney are getting stronger every single day

- My band are in the recording studio this week to record their first EP!

- Although it's still technically winter, everyday feels like summer

This is what this blog is mainly about, Summer. I know what you're thinking 'Dude, it's February, I'm still freezing!', but those of you that see me regularly might have noticed that I never wear my sleeves down. Now, this Probably sounds really stupid, but it's because I don't feel the cold, every step I take with the chilling winter breeze hitting my bare pale forearms is spent with a smile on my face and a happy song in my head. Everyones got a happy song, everyone has a song that when they hear it their heart skips a beat, and they get the butterflies in their tummy. Wether it's about a guy, a girl, a place, a time, I don't know, even if it's about something crazy like you're dog, this song reminds you of the one thing that makes you happier than anything else in the entire world. My favourite thing in the entire world, is summer. The heat of the shining sun on the dark navy water of mill pond near my house, with my two best mates by my side and the girl I love under my arm, just the thought of that is enough to get me by. I have the mates, I have the girl, all I needs the sun.

Message Of The Month:

Keep what you're looking forward to in your mind, and keep your head held high.

Until next time

Baii! x